Dr. Phil's Sage Advice

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we
all could use a little more calmness in our lives. By following the
simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner
peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you've started and never finished." So, I looked around
my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before
leaving this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of
White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Bristol Cream, a bottle of Kahlua,
a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the
rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates. You have
no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel
might be in need of inner peace.